It’s hard to watch someone you love struggle. If your husband or boyfriend indicates he wants help finding a therapist, you might want to jump into action. However, if you have ever gone through therapy yourself, you know how important it is to find a therapist that is a good fit. So how can you help him get started with therapy? Here are some helpful tips to help him start therapy.

man in therapy

Make it Clear You Are Supportive

Wanting to seek therapy is a big step. You need to be 100% supportive of this decision. If he is still unsure of starting, relax and be patient. He can only take full advantage of therapy when he is ready, and on his terms. Try sharing your own experiences with therapy if you have gone, or encourage him to speak to other people who have.

Discuss What Kind of Thearpy to Seek Out

Not all therapy is the same. He may not be comfortable disclosing in detail to you what he is struggling with, but there are a few avenues to explore. You might want to look at therapy for general mental health, addiction, or childhood trauma. You can then determine if he should seek out long-term or short-term counseling.

Man sharing problems with psychologist

Treat Finding a Therapist Like a Job Interview

Schedule multiple introductery appointments with mutliple therapists. Some men prefer to work with a man, or a woman that reminds them of someone whose opinion they trust. If you find a therapist he doesnt like, move on to the next and be supportive.

Respect The Choice of the Therapist He Eventually Picks

Once he has chosen his therapist, be supportive. Even if you liked one of the other ones better, this is his choice. If he wants to share some things his therapists says, be receptive and supportive. Ask him about his comfort level and if the therapist he chooses uses language that reflects his background and identity.

man with closed fist

Understand There Will Be Ups and Downs

Do not expect to send him off to therapy to be ‘fixed’. He is a work in progress as much as you are. Be aware that there will be successes and setbacks during this process. Let him know you will be supportive no matter what point of the process he is in. Make sure you are a safe person for him to confide in.

Despair businessman during psychotherapy


If a man in your life has expressed that he wants you to help him start therapy, make sure you are there to support him Only help if he asks. Discuss what kind of therapist he should seek out to help narrow down his choices. Treat finding a thearapist like a job interview. Schedule mutliple intorductery appointments until you find a good one. Respect whoever he chooses as his therapist, and be receptive to any insights he wishes to share. Ultimatly, do not expect him to go off to therapy and be ‘fixed’. This is a process, and your only job is to be supporitve and be a safe person for him to confide in.

Family Strategies Counseling & Mediation is a therapy office serving the Chicagoland Area. We offer couples counseling and mental health services. Our therapists are skilled at working with those who have suffered traumatic experiences. Give our office a call at (708) 798-5433 or email us a info@Family-Strategy.com for appointment details.