Family Strategies Counseling & Mediation uses play therapy to reach children of all ages. We often use play therapy to teach empathy or work through specific negative behaviors. Unfortunately, one of the most frequent reasons parents or guardians seek out play therapy with us is because their child is a survivor of sexual abuse. Play is fundamental to how children process their world, so we use Play Therapy to help them process their traumas.


The Stages of Play Therapy for Sexual Abuse Survivors

In some ways, each child is different and responds to abuse differently. However, in other ways, child survivors of sexual abuse are similar in how they progress through Play Therapy treatment. Our play area contains toys, puppets, crafting materials, and hundreds of miniatures. The first question we ask them is usually, “What would you like to play with today?” Most children will choose a toy. The idea here is to give them control over this space – they are allowed to play, or not play, in any way they wish. 


Stage One: Establishing Trust

Many parents think their children will not respond to mental health counseling. However, most children open up within the first few play therapy sessions. Why? These children want to talk to someone about what happened, and often it is easier to speak to someone new than to divulge this information to a parent or guardian.


Stage Two: Symptom Reduction


The child has come to our office for a reason – generally, this is because they have developed negative symptoms in response to the abuse. Signs a child might need a therapist include:

  • Irregular Sleeping or Eating Habits
  • Sudden inattentiveness or aggressive behaviors at school
  •  Excessive fighting with siblings
  • Bed Wetting after being toilet trained
  • New or unusual fears of specific people or places
  • Thinks of self or body as disgusting, dirty, or bad

Each child’s response is different and can occur at varying degrees. One method we use is Cognitive Behavior Therapy. First, we talk with the child to help them put a name to what they feel, so they can begin to understand it. Then, we help guide the child through what they should do in certain situations. For example: 


Therapist: “What should we do when we feel too angry to listen to the teacher’s directions?”

Child: “Maybe I can ask her for a time out.”


Children are intuitive and capable of understanding that “we” is actually “I”. The idea here is to help the child land on their solution to a problem. They are more likely to believe it will work and implement it if it is their idea.


Stage Three: Processing The Abuse

 When something traumatic or significant happens, we often want to relive that moment by talking about it. Unfortunately, young children do not have the language to talk about these things; instead, they act out the incident through dramatic play. They are replaying their traumas. We encourage children to talk while they play and describe what the toys are doing. Often, we can uncover that the motivation behind a negative behavior is the child’s attempt to replay and process what happened to them.


Stage Four: Closure

Once the child has developed helpful coping strategies, the child is ready to work toward closure. Closure for each child can look different, but in general, there is a reduction in symptoms and destructive behaviors. At this point, there is a farewell from the therapist. Ideally, the child has a significant support system in place. Parents or guardians have learned how to manage their child’s responses to triggering situations and how to help guide them through rough patches.



Each child’s journey through play therapy for sexual abuse will be as different as they are. In general, there are four distinct stages a child passes through when they begin working through their trauma. First, the therapist must earn the child’s trust by creating a safe environment where the child feels in control. Then we can quickly move on to reducing the negative symptoms that brought them here in the first place. Next, we teach them coping skills to better deal with their response to triggering situations or thoughts. Then the child must process the abuse. The processing time may be long or short, depending on each case. At some point, the child will reach a point of closure in which they have processed the abuse. Their support system will be in place to help them navigate going forwards.


Family Strategies Counseling & Mediation is a family-focused therapy office in Homewood, IL. We specialize in a holistic method of family support. Our services include child-focused play therapy, couples and marital counseling, grief support, and divorce support therapy. See our staff page, and contact us at (708) 798-5433 or info@Family-Strategy for information to book online or in person.


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